17 December 2016
A break up in a relationship happens in different ways. Sometimes it is mutual, other times it is one-sided. In such cases where the break up is one-sided, the initiating party is more likely to “win” (get over the hurt of the separation quicker) the break up.
This is usually because they are already mentally prepared for it. The more painful part of a break up comes from the shock or surprise of the separation. The fact that you never thought the relationship would end either so soon or in such a way is what makes you more hurt when a break up occurs.
Thus, if you are the break up initiator, you get to do away with most of that hurt, meaning that healing (or moving on) is much closer for you than your partner. Moving on to a new relationship is inevitable and expected, but is it unfair to do that so soon after a break up?
In the case where you are an initiator, how soon is too soon to then move on to a next relationship? Considering the fact that you would have healed quicker from the hurt than your partner, and the fact that the hurt your partner feels was inflicted on them by you in the first place.
Is there a respectable duration of time that must pass before you are allowed to enter into a new relationship after a break up? And if the break up was mutual, that is, agreed upon equally by both parties, is this duration of time allowed to be shorter? Is it fair to move on to the next relationship just a little while after callously breaking your old lover’s heart?
Author: Aderonke Adeleke
Writer. Music lover. Movie junkie. Social Media Enthusiast. Aspiring dancer. Aspiring photographer. Social Introvert.