11 May 2016
A promise is a debt. It is a vow or an agreement between two or more individuals. It is an informal contract entered into on the basis of trust and in good faith rather than based on law. A promise that is not kept has no legal consequences. No court will rule to have the defaulter of a promise incarcerated. A promise has no serious legal implications.
However, in a relationship, a failed promise or a promise not kept is the same as taking a knife and stabbing it into your partner’s heart. It is equal to constricting the throat and depriving your partner’s lungs of air. A promise broken is practically the same as a broken heart: a porcelain one that shatters into a million tiny pieces the moment it meets the floor.
Why do we make promises in our relationships? Because we want our loved ones to feel like they can trust us. We want them to look into our eyes and go into the deep end of the pool feet first with us; to turn our backs to us and do the trust fall knowing that we shall catch them.
A broken promise strips a relationship of that trust. It tears apart all hope and belief and good faith we had in our partners. A promise broken is difficult to mend again. If you promise to never cheat and you do, it’ll take your partner twice as long as you have been together to trust in your promises again.
When you get married, you stand in front of a representative of either the court of man or whichever deity you believe in, or both, and you promise things to each other. Vows are said and promises are made and the truth is, whether or not you both choose to hold to those promises, they are still binding. The human or spiritual presence that bore witness to those promises will still hold you to it and you should too.
As partners, you should write it on your hearts, wear it on your sleeves and take it with you everywhere you go. You must remember your promise to each other because it is what will keep you together. It is human nature to forget, but never let the nature win. Say your true promises to each other and be determined to keep them.
Let your word be your bond because a promise is a debt. But it is a debt you owe yourself more than your partner and more than the witnesses who watched you both pledge and promise things to each other.
Author: Aderonke Adeleke
Writer. Music lover. Movie junkie. Social Media Enthusiast. Aspiring dancer. Aspiring photographer. Social Introvert.