17 June 2016
There are many issues of conflict in a relationship, but Psychologists have narrowed these issues down to five, as they are the most common – money, sex, work, parenting and housework.
For an unmarital relationship, half of these causes don’t matter, however, the other half are just as important and serious as they also cause conflict in whatever kind of relationship; both married and unmarried.
Money always tops the list of what causes conflict in a relationship, and now researchers have figured out why.
In a recent survey conducted by GoBankingRates.com, which polled more than 5,000 American adults on the question: “Which of the following are the most significant financial deal breakers for you in a relationship?”, participants were instructed to select all that applied from the following list:
• Doesn’t make enough money
• Poor credit score
• Secretive about finances
• Too cheap
• Too much debt
Results gathered from the survey revealed that the number one financial deal breaker was Overspending, which received nearly 38 per cent of the votes.
Secretive about finances came in second (35.9 per cent), followed by too much debt (32.6 per cent), too cheap (19.8 per cent), poor credit (18.2 per cent) and doesn’t make enough money (13.9 per cent).
The findings showed that at the heart of money issues causing conflict in relationships lies the lack of trust or a display of untrustworthy behaviour on the part of one of the partners.
“Whether you’re worrying that a person might get themselves in financial ruin because they do not know how to balance their finances or you’re concerned that someone might hide financial problems, these concerns are rooted in a lack of trust”, says Stacy Kaiser, licensed psychotherapist, relationship expert and author of How to Be a Grown Up.
Bad money habits can cause serious strain in a relationship because it says more about a person’s lifestyle and career goals and motivation than anything.
Many pre-marriage counselors implore couples to know more about each other’s finances.
A major hindrance to this is the fact that many individuals are usually reluctant to freely divulge that knowledge to their partners.
They’re more eager to share their bed than reveal their bank account information and this can have serious effects on the trust level of a relationship.
The most basic financial information to know about your partner is how much they earn, but the average individual has no knowledge of that information about their partner.
Secrets ruin relationships. Especially financial secrets.
Finances in a relationship should be open. That is the only way a relationship can work well in the long run.
An open checkbook, bank statement, and financial information leaves no room for fear of secret and hidden expenses and lifestyle and will guarantee your relationship lasts and survives with a stronger bond of love and importantly trust existing within.
Author: Aderonke Adeleke
Writer. Music lover. Movie junkie. Social Media Enthusiast. Aspiring dancer. Aspiring photographer. Social Introvert.