25 August 2017
I remember when I was a lot younger chasing after a girl I loved, she was the most beautiful thing I’d ever set my eyes on, smart, intelligent and…oh my heart beat twice as fast when I’m with her, I feel alive and ‘alright’ when we talked on the phone…she was “it” and even God could not convince me otherwise. My dreams were coming true and the heavens smiled on me…until…
We couldn’t see anymore, she said she was busy. We couldn’t talk on the phone anymore, she said she was busy and we were no more, because she said she was busy.
I’m sure you’re shaking your head for me right now or singing a funeral song for that relationship, but isn’t that the way we mostly are with life?
We want a relationship with someone who doesn’t want us, or continue investing in a business or idea that has repeatedly yielded nothing, or cling on to something for some sentimental reason…just because…
You must learn at every point to know when to let things go, especially if you have done all there is to do to save or keep that thing…not before.
A friend with a similar experience cried “what does she want from me, what else does she want me to do?”, I consoled him gently, wondering why he was overreacting, until my turn came.
Sometimes we do not need to know why some things happen, we must learn to let it go, when it does not work anymore.
When your wisdom doesn’t work:
– Analyze the situation, see if you’re doing something wrong
– If the situation is beyond your control, consult with someone or ask for help from someone who “can” help. Men have problems asking for help, because they like to appear to the world like supermen, even then superman needs help sometimes
– When help is not helping, and other channels of resolution does not resolve anything, take lessons learned with you
– Quit, move on…if she doesn’t want you, going to sleep in her house, buying more gifts won’t improve the situation…same for most other life’s issues
So when you’re getting friendzoned by someone or zoned out by some experience you seek… learn to move on, because each moment you spend hoping, each minute you waste waiting, each resource you expend trying to buy back the old times, is another you could have used building or starting something new..
Move on bro! It’s not a loss, it’s just common sense.
This is a forum for men to share and learn together from their peculiar issues to become men of honour in a society that expects less.