Break-ups are hard. When a relationship ends, it’s almost the same as losing a loved one. These stages of grief are common with going through a loss; whether of a relationship or losing someone that was dear to you. We pass through them at some point or the other in the cycle, even though not all at the same time and not chronologically.

Denial: After a break up, we go through the denial phase in which we find it difficult to believe that the break up has occurred. It is difficult to accept that this person that used to mean so much to you is no longer with you.

Anger: You become angry at everyone. Yourself, your ex-partner, and perhaps other stakeholders that were to blame in the break up. You get upset that the break up had to happen. It’s okay to get angry that your relationship has ended, but take care not to do anything too drastic during the period.

Bargaining: At this stage, you start to think if perhaps there was something you could have done to save your relationship. Most times, at this stage, you might even get back with your partner. It’s the phase where you begin to rationalize the things that went wrong in your relationship.

Depression: It’s a difficult phase to go through but very necessary and helpful. Once you reach the stage, it’s likely that you’re completely done grieving over your old relationship. It is made up of sad and reflective moments, crying, eating ice cream and generally feeling sad about the end of your relationship. It’s good not to go through it alone.

Acceptance: At the end of all the hurt, anger, denial and sadness is healing. Here, you finally accept that breaking up with or leaving your partner was a good decision. At this stage, thinking about your partner or seeing your partner isn’t so hard anymore and when this happens you know you are ready to move on.


Author: Aderonke Adeleke

Writer. Music lover. Movie junkie. Social Media Enthusiast. Aspiring dancer. Aspiring photographer. Social Introvert.