11 February 2017
Let me guess. You opted to read this article for one of these two reasons; to actually avoid spending on bae this Valentine, or to prepare yourself for whatever excuse bae wants to give to avoid spending.
The former relates with the guys while the latter is for ladies. If you belong with the former, then I congratulate you. I have some juicy epic Valentine’s Day excuses to share with you.
Ordinarily, I should be charging you for this valuable info, but I have chosen to be magnanimous with it.
We all understand the issue with the economy right now. There is recession in town, we have to be smart about our spending.
Based on this, it is imperative to cut out some things from our budget, Valentine may just be one of them (for those who can’t afford it).
But you know the game with our ladies, they may never understand. This is why we have to come up with some smart ways to avoid celebrating Valentine’s Day without hurting them.
I have come up with three smart Valentine’s Day excuses that should help you.
- RED AGAIN???
When you talk about Valentine’s Day, you talk about colour RED! In this regard, it symbolizes love, romance and all those mushy stuff. You can expect to see stuff like red wine, red lipsticks, lingerie and all the niceties that comes with a typical valentine’s evening. But what do you do when you can’t afford all the niceties?
Change the RED of love to another shade of RED! Tell bae that you do not like the colour. Yes, we know that red means love, but to you it means ANGER and DANGER. So you avoid it by all means, and everything associated with it. Hence, there will be no Valentine’s Day celebration. You can celebrate your love on other days, it doesn’t have to be on February 14.
It may seem lame, but it can work if you pull it off well. If you don’t, you may see bae change to another shade of RED and tell you the popular heartbreaking three words, ‘IT IS OVER!’
I nor dey ooo.
- C’MON! BE COMPASSIONATE!
We all know about the economic recession, stale story! But there is a fresh angle to it that can help you avoid celebrating val; and not just that, you also get to draw a little compassion from your spouse (if she has church mind sha).
So here it is. Tell her you invested some cash in some business and you were expecting a 30 per cent or 100 per cent returns before February 14. But things turned bad, the investment crashed, and you are now aloof with no cash to even take care of basic things.
Please, tell her this story with a very sad face. Have your eyes red if possible and be very sober. She’s gotta be compassionate if she really loves you!
This one should work better than the first, if you ask me. Shrugs!
- CALL IN SICK!
Let’s face the fact, we sometimes avoid work on days we wake up not feeling up to anything, by simply calling in sick! And we get pardoned, don’t we? Okay, maybe not always, but at least, we get forgiven and everything returns to normal. Why not import that same tact into your plans for Valentine’s Day if you are not feeling up to it?
Bae wants you to be healthy and fit. She won’t enjoy a Valentine’s Day date with a sick partner, so she has to rate your health above the date, if she loves you for real.
Tell her you are feeling under the weather, and would need a lot of bed rest. There will be a lot more Valentine’s Day to celebrate together in the future, after all, you both are in the relationship with an eye for forever, innit?
This last one works like magic, trust me! Hehehe.